Trust and Obey

I want people to like me. I have always had the struggle of wanting to please people. To be fully transparent, that has gotten me into trouble more than I would like to admit. I am not talking about giving in to peer pressure and knocking over a convenience store, but I am talking about acting in a way that wasn’t true to my values or true to my spirit just to get the nod from someone who I wanted to like me.

I want to share that because it is important to know as I wade into the topic of obedience. It seems simple enough to seek God and to feel that He is giving you direction. For me this is usually a thought that comes to me and seems to reside heavily on my chest. It is something that I cannot seem to shake and the more that I seek Him the more He gives me confirmation through words that might be said in a sermon, in a conversation, in His word, in a song, and my personal favorite was when God gave me confirmation on a bill board that I passed every day and yet had never noticed before.

This blog is a direct result of obedience. I did hesitate in starting because of my fear of rejection and failure, but months passed and the urging only seemed to grow louder. So I finally did it. I was encouraged after a conversation with a friend at church who was starting her blog and so I bit the bullet and did it. It is hard to put yourself out there, writing has always been my passion and calling, I believe, but it is such a raw and deep part of who I am and being so vulnerable has always stopped me from putting my words out there and much as I should.

But in my growth in Christ and the realization that I cannot control any situations, I held His hand and stepped out. After posting the first blog, I felt like I was holding my breath. I don’t know if I was waiting for the world to crash or what, but I was definitely in a state of dread and suspense. I felt God telling me that it would be ok, that I had done what He had asked and that whatever happened was in His hands and would be used for His glory. Even with that assurance, I’m not going to lie, I was still scared to death.

Finally after I came in from the ledge, and figuratively breathing into a paper bag, God showed me a few things. All that matters is that I be obedient. I write what He compels me to write and post it, and that’s it until he nudges me to act further. I am reminded of a quote that I read in Lysa TherKeurst book, Uninvited, “ My job is simply to be obedient to God. God will handle everything else.”

One of the hardest things about this is wanting to check and see if I have any likes or comments (this is not a fishing expedition for more likes and comments). I purposely make myself wait a few hours after I post to return and see if there is anything to reply to, because the acceptance seeker in me totally wants to sit here and stare at the post and hit refresh every 5 seconds.

Another really hard thing is looking to see if my family has noticed that I have posted anything. I value their approval more than anyone else’s. But again- since this is something that I crave so badly, I believe that God is teaching me to lean on Him even more, because when it comes down to it, whether they acknowledge the post, or say anything about it,- His acceptance and approval is the only acceptance and approval that I need.

My continuing goals are to obey him, to lean on Him, to trust in Him, and to allow Him to continue to direct me and shape me.

I hope that you are having a good week and that you have reached a place in your life to listen to God’s voice. If you would care to share, I would love to hear about an area where you have learned to lean on God to help you grow through a struggle.

Have a great day!

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)