Take a right at Compassion

Do you ever sit back and look at social media or listen when there is a conversation going on within earshot, or take the time to notice when you are talking to realize, just how selfish we can be?

There are times that I believe we intend to make a person feel included or heard, but what we are actually doing is taking the attention off of them and making the story about us, an experience that we have had, an illness that we have had, a struggle that we have had. I am not saying that there isn’t a time and a place to share something that I have been through in a way to encourage or be sympathetic, but I do believe that we should take the time and observe their frame of mind or their state of emotion.

If they are hurting or upset, the best way to be a friend might not be to compare their situation to something that I have been through, or worse, try to top it with something that dismisses the weight that they are feeling, as we all know from living life, looking back often makes things seem less significant, but in the moment, it is all that we can see.

What if…

We prayed that God would direct our thought and words…and

We took a moment and read their post, listened to their statement, looked at their face and then said something like, “It sounds like you have a lot going on…” “Wow- that’s a lot,” “So what do you plan to do?” Giving them a chance to voice their concern, talk out the issue and just feel that they are heard and cared for, I like to call this the follow up. :)

Then after they have talked it through I might ask if there is anything that I can do to help. If I had actually been through something similar, I might take this opportunity to say something like, “You know my family experienced something similar a couple of years ago and I would be happy to talk with you about it if you want or if you are looking for suggestions, I can tell you what worked for us.” This allows them to come to you when they are ready or if they are looking for help. This gives them the time to process the immediate situation but they know that they can come to me later. It always lets them know that I will be a safe place to come if they need to bounce ideas off of someone, or talk in greater depth about what is happening.

I would also offer to pray with her or for her family member. I am probably not going to say this in front of the office gathering, but I might pop in and tell her a little later in the day or send an email and let her know that I am praying for her and invite her to pray together if she would like. I have opened the door and also shown her that I truly care. This is a way to show God’s love and compassion to her and hopefully lead her to lean on Him through the process.

I would like to challenge you, to try this out in your own life, even if you just start my spending one day making sure that your comments to someone's post directly relates to them and doesn't shine any light on you. It's harder than you think!

Lord help me to look to You, to read Your word and to transform my heart into a compassionate heart. Let me see people the way that You do, creations that You have designed and love. Help me to take the opportunities that You place before me to reach out and love on and care for those around me. Lord, help me to be less about me and more about You.

Zechariah 7:9

“This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.

1 Peter 3:8

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.