I don’t know about you, but I rely heavily on my computer and these days, my phone, to complete tasks and access information. But I will admit that there have been more times than I can count, where I have sat down to complete a certain tasks, that I am sure will only take 30 minutes and two hours later, I am frustrated and anxious as I fight with something that should be easy to do but has proven not to be. I am running late for whatever I was supposed to do with the other hour and a half that I didn’t intend to need for this project and I am fighting with this inanimate object that is supposed to make things easier. Can you relate? It seems like whatever project that I am trying to design, photo that I am working to edit or document that I am creating in the designated bit of time, my computer decides that it would be the perfect opportunity to lock up or move incredibly slow. It never fails that this is the ideal time to work in a less efficient and nonproductive manner. If you have been around computers for more than a day, I’m sure that you know my pain. When this happens if you know anything about computers or know someone who does, the first action is usually the same and almost always helps, the defrag. Running a defragmentation on your computer searches and takes little pieces which have been stored separately, but belong together and combines them to free up space and the result is usually a faster more efficient machine. Before you know it, you are breezing through that project and everything is working correctly and clicking right along without delays and frustration. This process causes me to think about my mind and heart and all the things that I have stored and hold tightly to, that I probably don’t need. I mean is it important that I can and do remember moments of hurt and disappointment and am able to play them back through my memory in slow speed frame by frame? I don’t think so. While I am not a computer with a limited amount of memory, I do believe that holding on to all these pieces slows me down. It distracts me from the moment that I am in and it constantly reminds me of the past and weighs me down from having a productive and efficient life. For me specifically, I see how it keeps me from the closeness of a relationship that I long to have with Christ. It slows me down from moving forward in a way of seeking God and His will for me. I am anchored in the mire of obsessing about old memories instead of trusting God with my today and tomorrow. I need a defrag. As we all know, the memories of something traumatic or significant are not ever going to leave us, they have had a deep effect on us and in many ways good or bad, have shaped us into who we are; but could we take a minute each time one of these heart and mind storage hogs comes to surface to stop and pray, asking God to take all these hurtful details and release us from the hold that they continue to have on us? I am going to work on that. When a memory pops up or scene starts playing through my mind… again and that old familiar hurt, rejection, and/or disappointment physically takes the level of my joy down in an instant emotional slide, I am going to stop, look at it and offer it up to God. If we are willing to let go of it, He will take it.
Let us all be in a constant exercise of defragmentation.
Search me, God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139: 23 (NIV)
The seed that fell among the thorns stands for those who hear, but they go on their way
they are chocked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. Luke 8:14 (NIV)
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
Heavenly Father, please guide me and show me the things that are robbing me of joy and that I need to release to you, giving me the ability to submit my life completely to You and the way that You have designed for me to minister to others effectively. It is in your name that I pray, Amen.
Dear friend, I would like to ask that you say a special prayer for my Dad, Tom Parker. He is in the hospital for the 2nd time in two weeks and is suffering from lung issues, blood clots in the lungs, Pneumonia and COPD. Also, please pray for me as I make the 5-6 hour drive to be with him and my family at the hospital today. I plan to leave as I post this. We covet your prayers. Thank you.